Betty Stachlowski

Betty C. Stachlowski Our Mother, Grandmother and friend, Betty Carolyn Zeilstra Stachlowski passed away Saturday Dec. 1st after 6 weeks of intensive care at St. Vincent#8217;s Hospital in Billings, MT. Born April 11th, 1940 to Martha and Frank Zeilstra of Miles City, MT, Betty grew up outside Miles City at Fort Keough and was the second oldest of five children. Driving into Miles City always evoked strong memories of a happy childhood as she often reminisced about the things her and the neighborhood children would do while growing up there. Although a happy childhood, it was one filled with various illnesses, of which multiple episodes of Rheumatic Fever would cause her the most lasting impact in the form of a damaged heart. After graduating high school in 1958 from Custer County High in Miles City, she moved west to Portland and eventually settled in Seattle. She married her first husband Bob Thompkins, and soon after they had a son she called Little Tom. Tom passed away a few short weeks later from complications of a heart ailment. Later they divorced and Betty met and married Bernard Stachlowski in January 1964. Bernard worked for Boeing and Betty worked for a finance company in Seattle. In October they welcomed Sharon Rae their first daughter, and Bernadine (Dina) Kay followed in June of 1970. After the sudden and shocking death of her husband in Sept., 1972, Betty felt it best to move her two young girls out of the big city and Home to Miles City, as she knew what a great place it was to grow up. Betty was a stay at home Mom so her girls would never come home to an empty house. Her devotion to raising her two daughters became her passion, and she would attend every event her two girls were involved in, until her health once again became an issue. Her heart started to fail her and in 1984 at the young age of 44 underwent open heart surgery to replace two of the malfunctioning valves in her heart. The surgery was a huge success and Betty was a new person with a new heart, and got back to enjoying life. One of her proudest moments was getting her associates degree from Miles Community College. Her passion and love of reading and books eventually prompted her to start her own new and used book store in Miles City, called The Book Mark. Later she sold the store, and moved to Bozeman, MT to be closer to her two grown girls, and her grandchildren. Grandma could often be found waiting in front of the grade school an hour early, sitting in her car reading a book waiting for her grandkids to get out of school. Betty loved to read, to crochet, she did beautiful embroidery work, play board games and cards, and watch NASCAR racing. She was an eclectic woman full of life and humor. It was this humor that resonates with most everyone she knew from the casual acquaintance at a grocery store, to her doctors and nurses, and especially with all of her friends and family. Her infectious laugh had an intensity and warmth that no matter where you were, you could recognize it immediately and know it was her. Her physical heart may have been weak and damaged, but her true heart in her spirit could never have been any bigger or stronger. In many ways Betty was larger than life itself. She was a walking icon of medical miracles over the years, but it wasn't through medicine itself that she continued to endure and live, but through her own strong will within in her mind and spirit, she was a fighter and giving up was just simply not an option. Although she lost this last battle in a physical sense she definitely won the war in truly living this life as good fun loving person and giving it her all. Betty was preceded in death by her husband Bernard and her father Frank. Betty is survived by her mother Martha Zeilstra of Miles City, two sisters Judy Cartwright and Bernice Charley, two brothers John and Tom Zeilstra, Daughters Sharon Stachlowski and Dina Ganser and 3 grandchildren Colton, Danyelle and Olivia, along with many nieces, nephews and extended family. She carried the following newspaper clipping around in her purse for many many years and it truly reflects her thoughts on life and death. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped. When that happens, do no attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my 'deathbed'. Call it my 'bed of life', and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives. Give my sight to a man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or the love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain. Give my blood to the teenager who has been pulled from the wreckage of their car, so that they may live to see their grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and every nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk. Explore every corner of my brain, take my cells if necessary and let them grow so that someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat, and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her windows. Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow. If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weaknesses, and all prejudice against fellowman. Give my soul to God. If by chance you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed, or words to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever. - Robert N. Test - author We love you so very much, our lives are richer for knowing and sharing it with you, you will be missed terribly so, but never ever forgotten. Cremation has taken place and her wishes fulfilled. A Celebration of Life will take place Saturday, Dec. 15th at 2:30 pm at the Methodist Church in Miles City. In lieu of flowers, donate a toy to Toys for Tots, do a good deed, or better yet become an organ donor in her honor. Although her organs had failed her and were of no use to another, perhaps she can still save someone simply by reading this and honoring her wishes.