Navigating grief during the holidays

Navigating grief during the holidays: Support, traditions, and healing

For those grieving a recent or long-standing loss, the holidays can painfully highlight their absence, as the festive atmosphere and family gatherings often emphasize what’s missing—an empty chair, a quiet voice—turning a season of joy into one of isolation or renewed heartache.

However, according to Charlie Fisher, owner of Dahl Funeral & Cremation Services, this time of year doesn’t have to be entirely defined by grief and isolation.

“A lot of families struggle, and they don’t think they should be; they don’t think it’s normal six months after the death. But this is perfectly normal and its something that happens to alot of families, alot more,” Fisher said.

This sentiment is echoed in a 2021 survey of 2,000 individuals, which found that 36% chose not to celebrate the holidays due to grief or loss.

During this time, grief can feel especially intense as the contrast between personal sorrow and the seemingly happy, pain-free celebrations of others becomes more pronounced.

However, while grief can leave us feeling helpless and out of control, Fisher said that accepting those emotions, connecting with others who share similar experiences and creating new traditions to honor lost loved ones can help make the holidays more manageable.

“Remember the person; hang an ornament on the tree with their name on it or a photo, just something to remember them and acknowledge that they’ve passed. It’s all part of that grieving process,” he said.

Since its founding in 1939 by Emil H. Dahl, the funeral home has provided compassionate support to families in all financial situations. Known for professionalism, integrity and attention to detail, Dahl Funeral & Cremation Services also offers resources such as free grief coaching and educational tools to help families navigate loss.

In addition to these services, Dahl Funeral & Cremation Services provides specialized grief support. Linda Dahl Reinhart, a licensed clinical social worker with three decades of experience, addresses the complexities of grief, helping individuals cope with emotions such as denial, a sense of emptiness and extreme anger or bitterness following a loss.

Dahl Reinhart provides individual counseling and a monthly support group, along with a free first screening session for those seeking more personalized support.

The funeral home also offers resources to help parents discuss death with children and provide comfort during this difficult time.

“You know, whether it be the holidays or even at the time of death, having people there who care about you and help you out and listen to you and are just there for you is really important,” Fisher said.

Even if the loss was not recent, the holidays could reignite the awareness that a loved one is no longer physically present—something Fisher says is completely normal, even for those who have already processed their grief.

“There are holiday traditions and things that people do together, and that realization that their loved one isn't there and they miss them, and maybe they did certain things during the holidays that aren't going to be there,” he said.

When feelings of grief and sadness arise, Fisher advises acknowledging them rather than bottling them up.

“People don't necessarily take the time to grieve when the death occurs and around the holidays, that just kind of brings it home. It can be really tough on families,” he said.

For friends and relatives unsure how to support someone grieving during the holidays, Fisher recommends offering a space where they can openly express their feelings without fear of judgment or appearing weak.

“Offer an ear, be someone who listens, or offer to help them find a counselor,” he said. “It’s having someone there that cares for them, someone that they can talk to, and you know someone they can share the memories with,” he said.

For more resources on grieving, visit https://www.dahlcares.com/grieving-process.

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Veteran funeral services at Dahl Funeral & Cremation Service help honor, remember service

November 5, 2024

Honoring and thanking veterans for their service through military funeral honors and veteran’s benefits is an important duty for Dahl Funeral and Cremation Service funeral directors. Dahl employees acknowledge the sacrifice, patriotism and willingness to protect others shown by those who serve our country by helping their families access the benefits available to them and to plan a funeral service fitting for a veteran. Whether a veteran or their family wishes to bury them in an official Veterans Cemetery or in a privately owned cemetery, Dahl owner Charlie Fisher said their staff is ready to help. “It's about honoring their service to our country and honoring the veterans,” Fisher said. “It’s important to us to go above and beyond for those who sacrificed for their country.” Dahl can help arrange an honor guard including members of the military branch in which a veteran served. Veterans who participate in that honor guard often find it to be incredibly powerful, showing the lifelong impact serving in the military can have. Local veterans groups like the American Legion help with military honors at funerals. “Veterans who participate in an honor guard - it’s very important to them,” Fisher said. “It's a continuum of honoring the person being buried and knowing that - someday it'll be me.” Veterans are also eligible for certain funeral benefits that can help defray the cost of services. In Montana, veterans are eligible for $500 to help pay for funeral costs. There can be a lot of forms to fill out after a loved one passes, but Fisher said they help families apply for those funds and help them fill out the paperwork to receive a burial flag, veteran’s grave marker and file for state veteran’s benefits. Dahl staff can also point them in the right direction for additional benefits provided by the federal government. A veteran's discharge papers will be needed to verify eligibility and apply for veteran’s benefits. The veteran’s discharge papers are normally referred to as a “DD 214”. Military funeral honors include a rifle detail to fire the 21-gun salute, playing of taps, a color guard and uniformed service members who properly fold and present the United States flag to the grieving family. Fisher said the ceremony can be a really meaningful experience. Most of the time, veterans or their families will opt into having funeral honors when they are planning a service. “The service where they fire the rifle volley, play Taps, fold the flag and present it to the family it's just a really nice send off from the military for the veterans,” Fisher said. “It can be really meaningful for the family members who also served their country alongside their veteran.” For veterans who will be buried, they may be eligible for a headstone from the VA. The VA will pay for costs if a veteran will be buried in a VA cemetery. The closest veteran’s cemetery is in Helena at the Montana State Veterans Cemetery - Fort Harrison, but there is also a veteran’s section at Bozeman’s Sunset Hills Cemetery in which plots may be purchased by the veteran or their family. There are a lot of decisions to be made in the days and weeks after a loved one passes, but Dahl is right there to help families figure out how to get the benefits for which they are eligible. “There is no greater honor for us than serving those who have served our country,” Fisher said. “We want to be there and help you get the benefits you deserve and provide a service worthy of a veteran.” More information on Veterans services Dahl provides can be found at www.dahlcares.com/veterans-services .

Pre-planning funeral arrangements ‘a huge gift’ for families

October 15, 2024

In the hours and days after a loved one passes away, there are endless decisions for family members to make, not to mention beginning their grieving journey. Making arrangements for one's funeral before that moment can ease the burden on those you leave behind, Charlie Fisher with Dahl Funeral Home says. Some people just want the basics figured out, like whether they want to be buried or cremated, and others want to specify what the services should look like, who should be a pallbearer or speaker, and what music to play. Dahl Funeral Home staff try to meet people where they’re at when talking about pre-planning their funeral arrangements, Fisher said, and just listen to what they want to do and talk them through the options. Having your wishes down on paper so you can be sure they are followed is a benefit, Fisher said, as is taking that decision-making burden off your family members. “Having the information down and having it paid for is a huge gift to the family,” Fisher said. “It’s just that piece of mind knowing that when it's done, you don't have to worry about it anymore.” People interested in doing pre-planning can find information on Dahl’s website, at dahlcares.com, under the tab titled “Plan Ahead.” There, people can look at the “pre-planning checklist” and an online pre-planning form that illustrate some of the options. The secure form asks things like the names of family members, your educational and work history and has boxes to fill in asking about what themes you want included in the service, any poems or special texts to be read, or any story, message or thank you that you want to be read. People can fill out however much information they want, but Dahl asks for contact information so they can follow up with you later. Some things the checklist encourages people to think about is what kind of service they want, where they would want to be buried or what kind of casket or urn they may want, where they want a service to be held and other details. Flowers, music, and whether you would want people to donate to a certain cause are also things to think about. The checklist also suggests that people write an obituary, or make notes of what information they would want included in that when the time comes. Choosing who you want to be in charge can be helpful, Dahl suggests, like making sure someone has a copy of your will and people are in charge of canceling or closing accounts, subscriptions or utility services. Having these details sorted out can not only make things easier in the days after losing a loved one, but can also cut down on any sort of arguments that might arise, Dahl says. “The death of a loved one often brings about unwarranted stress and turmoil among families,” their website states. “One family member wants one thing, while another family member wants something different. By planning ahead, you help prevent those disagreements.” Dahl estimates that there are more than 150 decisions that have to be made in the days following the death of a loved one. Taking care of some of those decisions beforehand can help your loved ones begin their grieving and healing process sooner. Dahl offers for people to come into their funeral home and meet with a funeral director, Fisher said, or to have someone come to their home for that. Sometimes, Fisher said, people just want to get the process over with quickly. Other times, Dahl funeral directors end up visiting with people for a while. “We just try to be caring and compassionate,” Fisher said. “We try to talk to them and treat them like they are a friend and listen to them.” Some people choose to pre-pay for their arrangements, which Fisher said can make things easier for the family. That prepayment is certified through insurance forms that Dahl keeps on file, Fisher said, and pre-planning gives you more options for funding. “I’ve had so many people when they're done go ‘Thank God that's done. It's just such a burden off of me, I don’t even have to think about it anymore,’” Fisher said. “There are always more fun things to do than make funeral arrangements, but having it done is a relief to people.” More information is available at dahlcares.com, and the funeral home can be reached at 406-586-5298.

Navigating grief during the holidays